A Nonresearch Discussion

Time really flies. I am almost two months into my PhD journey and it is really challenging. I remembered how I used to take five modules in my undergraduate days and can still somehow handle them well (not that I scored all As for them). But now, with two graduate modules, I seem to be panting and running out of steam. My brain has been out of practice for almost 3 years and now I’m like requesting it to do high intensity interval training; it is inevitable that I feel like this. One thing that I’m enjoying is the social life I have with my classmates as I didn’t really have one in my undergraduate days. Somehow, although I’m filled up to the brim, I still want to spend that wee little bit more time at the pantry to have small chats with my classmates, be it on our everyday lives or some studies related stuff. The me in the past would have probably made an excuse so as to go back to the books. I’m glad with this change in me.

Today, I had a nonresearch discussion with my advisor which was a very rewarding session. It made me understand that changing your point of view of a problem or more generally a scenario can really make your problem less of a problem if not vanish. For example, tension can occur between two people, be it friends, colleagues and not forgetting husband and wife. When there is tension, it is not necessarily a bad thing, it implies that you value that other party, else there will be no tension. With this motivation, I present the words of my advisor:

“We need tension, and when there is tension, it allows us to deepen our bonds.”

I really like how my advisor thinks about life, and he mentions:

“If your employer is asks you about what you are doing, do not think of it as he or she is trying to check on you. Instead think of it as, by telling him or her what you are doing, they can in fact help you in overcoming the obstacles that you encounter.”

To be able to see it from such a perspective certainly makes your life much more happier. I’m sure there are skeptics that will sneer at such ‘naive’ way of thinking, but this is just simply making lemonades out of lemons at its highest level. Lastly

“If someone scolds you, it does not necessarily implies that you are at fault. It simply means that the person scolding you could not contain his or her outburst at that point of time.” my advisor

Of course, the last quote should only be used in certain scenarios, like someone is forcing you to do something you dislike and there is no right or wrong in your choice. So, we have to be able to not succumb to such outburst.

There’s really much more I would have liked to share, but due to the amount of learnings I obtained in that nonresearch discussion, I could only synthesize out a partial of them to a level of accuracy that is acceptable for me.

I hope the points I shared above made some sense to you. If it didn’t, maybe you haven’t experienced enough for the points to get to you or perhaps you are right in the sense that they don’t make sense.

To my advisor: If you ever chance upon this post of mine and I have actually misinterpreted some things out of context, please inform me!

As the recess week approaches its end, I gonna go make more lemonades from my stock of lemons!